Kids are always a big hassle for many parents, simply because parents don’t know how to take care of them. Many factors are involved in raising kids, and in this article I will be listing some of them.

Needs and wants

Young children have very basic needs and wants. These include food, water, entertainment and a ‘feel-good’ sensation. Basically, in order to make them happy, caregivers ought to give the child what they want, when they want. This is the basis to making them happy. However, children are unaware of the harm that excess can cause. For example, if a child asks for lunch at a fast food restaurant, caregivers should let them go. However, if the child begins to ask for many more such lunches, then it’s time to reject some of these requests as most of us know that fast food is bad for health.
The one setback of this is that the child may feel unhappy that you do not adhere to his requests. But another good point of this, other than the obvious health benefit, is that they will grow in intelligence too, as they will learn what’s good, and what’s not so good for them.

Love

As children grow older, their needs and wants change and increase. A major want of children is attention and love. This is why a caregiver should always show a child love as much as possible. In that way, children will feel a
certain sense of belonging and that they are wanted.

How should caregivers show love to a child? There are many ways. The most obvious would be to spend as much time as possible with the child. Whether it’s playing or telling stories, the child just needs company.

The child will grow closer to that person, who will have the most influence on the child as he grows older. Therefore, it is important that this person is someone that the child can trust in and will learn from. The child will usually feel most at ease when in this person’s presence too.

Discipline

A child is bound to do some bad things now and then (unless he’s some kind of saint!). In these cases, certain ground rules must be set and disciplinary action taken where necessary.

Firstly, the reason why the child committed the act must be sought. If it was out of curiosity, then it is best to tell the child to ask for permission the next time. If it was out of mischief, then it is best to laugh along with the child but at the same time remind him how he would feel if others did it to him. Finally, if it was done repeatedly out of spite, then harsh action must be taken. For example, menial chores or, at extremes, physical pain.

But basically, to prevent such things from happening in the first place, set rules for various situations.

A note of warning: never treat the child harshly if it is the first time he commits an offence. Do not even speak as if you were scolding him. Tell him calmly why it was wrong and explain properly. If a child forgets and repeats the offence, then I feel the best way to stop it is to ask the child to write it out and paste it in his room or keep it in a notebook somewhere. That way, there is always a reminder, even if he forgets.

Happiness

Spending time with the child and adhering to his needs and to his wants (sometimes) increases happiness but what a child desires most is love. Bring a child out to places that would make him happy. Always ask the child what he wants and, if you feel that the request is acceptable, then grant it to the child.

If the child feels sad, comfort and cheer him up by doing things that are sure to make him happy. If the problem persists, find the root of it and get rid of it.
Another thing to note is that if people around the child are happy, the child will generally feel the happiness resonating around him and feel happy, too.

Health

A child is obviously unhappy if he feels unwell and sick. But health can be divided into two sections – physical and mental.

Physical health problems include physical injury, or illnesses – for example, the common cold. Caring for a child in these circumstances simply requires one to bring the child to the clinic or hospital, comforting the child and devoting care and attention to the child.

Mental health is another important aspect. A child does not necessary need to be older in order to experience mental trauma. Mental health is affected by a child’s surroundings, i.e. the people he spends time with, the environment in which he is brought up.

A child left in a lonely environment where he is always left in the care of others may come to loathe and hate his parents for not taking care of him. Love is the only cure. The one who shows the most love to the child by taking care of him and attending to his needs will be the person who cures the child’s emotional problems.

Intelligence

Since children learn better when younger, it is best to expose them to various educational books, literature, mathematical problems etc. However, don’t force a child to do what he doesn’t want. If he’s reluctant at first, it would be best to do things slowly.

For younger children, one should not leave them to independent learning; instead, caregivers should opt to go through texts and concepts with them.
Never get frustrated with the child, as this makes the child unwilling to learn the subject. Instead, use simple words to simplify concepts and perhaps use
pictures too. It is always best if caregivers show a child how the points learnt can be applied to real life. For instance, word problems can be explained through the use of everyday objects, such as apples and oranges.

Older children can be left for more independent learning, but it is important that caregivers teach them to access the internet or ask their teachers for help when they do not understand the concepts learnt in school.

Stimulate the need to ask questions in a child. If a child does not ask questions, he will never expand his knowledge and this will cause quite a setback in life. Begin by asking a child if he understands what was just dictated, after which test him to see if he really understands.

A final point: never spoon feed the child; for example, doing his homework for him. If it does come to the point where the caregiver feels the method a
child uses to solve problems and do projects is wrong, he should explain why. If the child still insists that his way is right, then let him be. Do not force a child into doing things he does not want to do.

As said before, the most important part of a child’s life is still to instil love within him. If a child can love, then he is able to better appreciate the world and people around him and life itself.

Richard Neo, 13 years old