I am turning 13 this year and definitely looking forward to another exciting chapter of my life: the teenage years. I have always been the envy of my friends as they see me as the “lucky girl with the lucky life”. Yes, I must admit that my growing-up journey has been awesome and I owe it all to my wonderful family. I am honoured to share my growing up experience which would hopefully benefit other parents in raising happy, healthy and intelligent kids!

From birth to present

Being the latest addition to a Chinese family of four, I was very lucky as my young parents already had their “training” with my two elder sisters, age seven and eight then. From as young as I can remember, I was allowed to have as much fun as I possibly can and of course, I made the best out of it.

My parents love participating in events and watching my sisters and I perform – be it singing, acting, dancing or modeling. They believe that through performing for others and participating in activities, children can build confidence.

I joined my first ever competition at the tender age of six months old, when all I did was blabber baby words and giggle at everything that amused me. To my parents’ surprise, I emerged Champion!

Competitions meant I was in constant interaction with people and that made me very comfortable around strangers. It probably also made me one of the most talkative and bubbly toddlers anyone can imagine. I was told I could blabber non-stop from Pasir Ris all the way to Genting Highlands!

When it comes to learning, my parents incorporate it with fun as they believe that will make kids pick up faster. I remember learning words through TV
programmes, flash cards and self-made games. At the age of four, with constant corrections from my parents, I was already able to form short fluent sentences.

There was no pressure in learning until the age of seven, when I enrolled into primary one at Pasir Ris Primary School. During my lower primary school days, my mom used to revise school work with me everyday and guide me through the subject I had the most problems with – Chinese. I also had the help of my two elder sisters as home tutors.

Primary 5 and 6 were killer times. My grades fell because I could not cope with the workload and I lost interest in the very complicated Math subject. However, my parents did not give up on me. They went in search for a reliable tutor and with constant encouragement from them, I improved bit by bit. I could not believe my eyes when I saw that my Math grade in the PSLE
improved from a F to a B! My family was of course as elated as I was.

Growing pains

As proud as this may sound, I think my sisters and I are very well-mannered girls (haha!). We were brought up the right way – to show respect to the elderly and to behave appropriately. My parents were very strict about disciplining us even though we felt entitled to the foibles of childhood.

Since young, I would be punished severely whenever I was rude or whenever I threw tantrums. I would get the occasional caning from my dad when I overstepped boundaries. I felt embarrassed at the time and was very upset about how my parents disciplined me. Now when I look back, I feel grateful instead. All the lectures, spanking and punishments made me who I am today.

One of the most memorable events in my life would be at the stage of puberty. I was 11 years old and ignorant about the changes that were happening to me. I felt awkward, frustrated and ‘ugly’ at the same time. I saw my sisters blooming into pleasant young ladies and felt really confused about myself. I lost all my self-confidence and became a very difficult kid.

What brought me through those very difficult days was the close relationship I had with my close-knit family. My family made it a point to set aside Saturdays free for Family Bonding Time and we would have picnics or a
fun day out together.

During those bonding times, I got to talk a lot with my parents and sisters about the changes I was experiencing and through them. I understood what was going on and gained more confidence.

They borrowed books on puberty for me to read and taught me how to take care of myself. Problems such as pimples, the monthly blood cycle, body
development and mood swings became much easier for me to handle. I can recall my family exercising with me, changing their diets to a healthier choice for me and going through those woes with me. I thank God for them.

At the age of 13 now, I would say that I was and still am a very happy, healthy and to a certain degree, intellectual kid!

Louisa Kan Jin Qian, 13 years old