Kids are certainly a bundle of joy, but how do you bring up your children so that they become successful individuals – physically, mentally, and morally? Such is the question that many parents or aspiring parents face. Children are god’s greatest gift to families, but raising them is no easy matter. As a young adult, I feel my parents have done well in inculcating moral values and educating me, but there are some areas that could have been better. The following are just some simple conclusions I have reached about raising children which I wish to share but do keep in mind that I am still woefully
inexperienced and the advice is not a one-size-fits-all solution as children come in a great variety.

The words of Beethoven rings true today, even with our modern and busy lifestyles. Parents today often have to work round the clock to bring home the bacon. In pursuit of larger bacon, they often find themselves having less time for their children. Some resort to showering their children with money to compensate, but material wealth must be preceded, or at least be
accompanied by care and love. Without the latter, the child will not know how to deal with the former. This will probably have a negative impact on his development.

Generally, simply spending time together and showing how much you care would be a great first step to nurturing healthy, happy children. Meal times are great for chatting about the goings-on in your child’s life. Try to be involved and interested even though the topics may seem mundane. It’s through these little things that you can stay connected to your child.

Discipline is also an important part of parenting. Without parental discipline and without setting boundaries for children about what they can and can’t do, a child will not know what kind of behaviour is acceptable and may even have trouble behaving in society in future. First, discipline requires consistency. Some say parenting is a 24/7 job, and I agree. If you tell your children not to lie, they cannot catch you lying – not even about the tiniest of things, like whether you have done the dishes. You are a role model for your
children, so constantly check your behaviour as children are always testing you.

Secondly, discipline does not have to mean scolding or physical punishment (like making your child stand in a corner). You need to explain what was wrong and be firm, but not fierce, when you reprimand your child. Try to punish your child in a way that he or she would not forget easily, but the punishment must not be painful. An example would be, if your child watches too much television, ban him or her from watching for one whole day and bring your child out hiking instead. Your child might resent at first, but soon he will realise there are other fun things to do.

Reward your child if he or she does well. Teach your child the 2 Rs – responsibility and respect, by always outlining the consequences of his or her actions and force your child to think before acting. For example, if
your child breaks someone else’s toy, take his or her own toy away for a period of time and explain why.

Independence is also something on which you should focus. Monitor your children without spoonfeeding. Independence from a young age would let
your child become more competitive when he enters work life. Guide your child to plan his or her own study schedule and manage his or her time.

Support their interests and help them develop their talents from a young age. Many remarkable chess players and musicians discovered and started
developing their passions even before the age of five. However, do not force them into classes they have no interest in, which will only create pressure.

Bringing up children is definitely not easy, but there is certainly a sense of achievement and satisfaction at the end of the day. After all, they would eventually grow up and mature to become someone who will look after
you and care for you as you age. It is every parent’s dream that their child grows up to become successful and if you do the right things, you will get there one day. Someday, they themselves will become parents and know what you gone through raising them.

Yinan, 13 years old