Parenthood is the greatest vocation in the world. I t is also the most difficult and important challenge for any married couple. As parents, we have great authority and influence over our children.

“Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” This sounds simple enough but the practice of it takes patience and commitment.

We need wisdom and understanding on what makes our children tick. Fortunately, help is never far away. W e are now spoilt for choice in the various parenting books available, not including the countless advice found online!

Raising perfect kids should be a breeze with so much information but in reality, perfection can never be achieved as humans are not perfect beings.
My name is Kenneth Chong and I am currently involved in mission outreach in Indonesia, while my wife and our two kids study and reside in Melbourne, Australia.

I have many people to be thankful for in raising my daughter Amanda (aged 13) and son Brennan (aged 12). First and foremost, is my helpmate and wife, Serena.

Our parents (now deceased), relatives and friends have also been a helpful wealth of experience that we tapped from.

The way to happiness

By happiness, I mean not only contentment, but joy, pleasure, honor, excellence, health and wealth too.

A child should be taught the following:
• Happiness is a habit. Create a merry HEART. If one thinks happy thoughts every time, it is enough to be happy.
• Know that unhappiness and discontentment are caused mainly by
a) egotism or selfishness.
b) envy, which makes us regard the possessions and talents of others as if they were stolen from us.
c) jealousy.
d) covetousness, which is the inordinate desire to have more. Axe these roots of problems.
• Keep mealtimes as happy times.
• Show forgiveness and practice LOVE.
• Tell them they are precious and special. Hug them often.
• D iscipline firmly and immediately when an offence occurs but do not yell.
• W elcome your kids’ friends and enjoy activities with them.
• Keep your promises to build trust.

The Health Message – physical as well as mental (emotional and spiritual) health.

Physical health tips

Moderation in eating and exercising is the motto.
• Obesity can be avoided by reducing large intake of refined carbohydrates found in junk foods like chips, fries, refined sugar, white flour.
• Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables daily.
• Develop sensible eating habits. Stop when full. Do not indulge especially during buffets
• Eat more fish and poultry, cut down on meat and hydrogenated dairy products.
• Avoid snacking after 9pm to ensure proper body metabolism.
• E ncourage sporting activities unless the child has a medical problem.
• Drink water or fruit juice instead of soft-drinks. Our body is two-thirds water, do not become dehydrated.
• Brush teeth after every meal to prevent tooth decay.
• Teach personal hygiene – washing hands before meals, proper grooming and gait, wear good fitting clothes and shoes, use caps or sun-block to prevent heat stroke.
• Eye care is also important as many studentsare short-sighted. Test for color blindness too.

Mental health tips

• LOVE. Treat our kids fairly and do not show favoritism.
• DI SCIPLINE. Should be meted out in a balanced, consistent and reasonable way. Use the carrot instead of the stick approach at all times.
• CONSISTENCY. Both parents should stick together, agreeing on the same rules of chastisement. D o not frustrate the children to wrath. Correct but do not reject them.
• STRESS AND WO RRY.
a) Teach your kids not to worry over unimportant things.
b) Teach them time and money management, such as preparing time-table for lessons, pocket money spending and savings.
c) Do not nag, but encourage them to change bad habits.
d) Do not push them beyond their capabilities.
e) Rest enough to avoid fatigue.
f ) Have a trusted friend to confide in.
g) Children should be allowed to fail as every failure leads a step closer to success. Don’t be ‘kiasu’ or ‘kiasi’.
h) Teach them respect for others and elders if they wish to be respected in return.

Way to intelligence

All children are born with different levels of intelligence. Like various rough gems, parents need to know how to polish and cut them to bring out their
sparkle.
• Get the best education at the best school available for them. Having the right start is important.
• Get tuition for weak subjects so they do not fall behind their peers. Talk to school teachers about your child’s progression.

• Allow your child to make decisions. Encourage independence but explain that privileges also entail personal responsibilities.
• Master thinking skills. There is more than one side to every argument: yours, theirs and the correct answer!
• Apply active thinking and learning. For example, applying knowledge to solve problems will help them connect issues and problems in later life.
• Be involved in extra-curricular activities.
• Foster a caring attitude for the less fortunate.
• Search for the truth and question the status quo.
• Not every child is academically inclined. Know their passion and encourage them in that direction.
• Set boundaries. Unlimited and unsupervised free time leads to a wasted childhood.

Kenneth Chong, father of two